I have had no formal education in plank sports but my passion gets me through the tragic technique and resulting injuries.

My first snowboard experience was in 99 with a bunch of muppets from QM Halls in Glasgow. We drove up to Glenshee and were exceptionally shite to a man. The following 2 years I embarked on week long ski trips with the University Ski Club to Les Arcs, France and then Val Thoren, France. The reason I mention these two separate trips as one is cause I cant distinguish one from the other. They were two of the most aggressively drunken experiences of my life to the point where after each I am sure I suffered some sort of alcohol poisoning. Put it this way, it took me days of sitting in dark room in total silence before I was able to even close my eyes without a nauseating and violent falling sensation overcoming me. My skin was falling off and my ability to communicate was seriously impinged. However it was worth the post traumatic suffering cause I loved every moment of each trip. I slept an average of 3 hours a night, woke up at 7am, often in my hill gear which I had put on the night before to speed my morning departure and hit the slopes. Fantastic skiing everyday. Lunch was a gathering to laugh at Uncle Desmond and then get back out until the end of the day. Darkness meant a return to the pit that we stayed in and a couple of glasses of bitch to ward off sleep. No shower, just change clothes and head to wherever the party was being hosted…..hmmmm….that meant staying in cause our room always hosted the party. After the party get out to the club and thus the process is replayed. To even begin to retell any of the stories from these trips would be sacrilegious to the great moments I would inevitably overlook, needless to say, we had a great time. You all know who you are and you will live with me forever.

My next skiing came with Yam and boy was I out of my league. Ski touring & ski mountaineering with a heavy pack on, in flat light, over uneven ground, in avalanche country, amongst tight trees, on steep slopes. But hell you learn fast when your at the sharp end. In Healy Pass we had to endure night-time temperatures of -20° C over our 4 day/3 night tent based tour. The scenery was superb but the suffering was in evidence. It was here that I learnt to build a quinsy (which is basically a snow shelter) that our group used as a communal area and shelter from the bitter cold.

Next up was Rogers Pass, the famed backcountry ski destination for 4 days. Huge terrain. However, we were there early in the season and the temperatures rose just before arrived. A wet slushy snow pack and drizzle made for a hard few days of touring and I got a lesson in steep tree skiing.

Our final Yam segment was ski mountaineering on the Wapta Ice Fields again for 4 days. Great trip, hard work but very fitting way to finish the course.

On moving into 538b I purchased a lift pass for our closest ski hill Sunshine Village. Sunshine is a cool hill with lots of varied terrain and a reliable snow pack. Mornings consisted of the radio alarm waking me up with the latest snow reports and the excruciating task of having to get out of a warm bed into an exceedingly cold house and figure a plan on how to get to the hill. A couple of good sessions with GURFC/ski club massive Cahoon, Hadden, Bremner and epics with Brian made for some good days. I probably managed close to 50 hill days that winter. Taking it for granted when its on your door step is something you rue when you haven’t been on the snow for 2 years.

The only other skiing I did that winter was on skinny skis with Fin and Karen. Total cluster of a organizational plan saw us night ski under moon light into the Elizabeth Parker Hut at. Despite not really knowing where we were going we successfully made it to the hut at around 4am much to the disapproval of the other hut users as we crashed in the front door. A bottle of whiskey later and we made it to bed as the keen skiers were going out for their days. Me and Fin did not progress any further than the snow couch we built just outside the hut where we drank wine and watched the clouds pass by overhead. A truly magnificent spot surrounded by big mountains but when your not motivated their isn’t a better way to spend your day. I think the proposed 2 days turned into 3 and almost got me fired.

My next skiing was done in the winter of 2004/5. Some pretty reasonable days were had at the Lecht and Annoch Mor.